Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Game Prediction: Poop.

Tonite the Coyotes will steam roll the Calgary Flames in a spirited affair. The hosts will tally an astounding 15 goals, (Doan will get 3 Natural Hatricks in a row earning the first Triple Triple in NHL history) Hale will earn his first goal, albeit he will score on Kipper who will play relief for the beleaguered Cujo. Final score 'Yotes 15, Flames 2.

The D-pairings should be:
Sarich - Phaneuf
Hale - Eriksson
Regs - Aucoin

But never fear, Keenan will screw it up and as usual we will watch Regs and Sarich tool around in the defensive end of the rink wondering where the nearest fedex guy is so they can bloody mail the puck up to the forwards. Arizona has great outlet malls but the Flames can't seem to string together a solid outlet pass to save their lives. If ever there was an opportunity to see how shit-tastic the CGY defense is, this evening will be the epitome of disaster as Cujo starts between the pipes. Joseph's rebound control is as tight as a 65 year old dude armed with a bottle of Viagra and 3 Playboy playmates thus leading to the CGY defense skating, willy-nilly, in a series of concentric circles while PHX tries to bury the 4th attempt.

Bryzgalov will tally his first NHL goal by golfing in an empty-netter in the last minute of play and Huselius will be re-incarnated as a goon whilst he delivers 4 bonecrushing hits and gets into a honest to goodness fight (though he will lose in epic fashion). Lanks and Dion tally for the men in red but the good news ends there.

Daz will be travelling with the team. In his TSN sponsored quest for a top line center he thinks Arizona will be the place to secure said asset. 200lb centers don't grow on trees so go where there aren't many trees. Geez people, do I have to think of everything myself? The joke is on us though because secretly Daryl and the brothers have been filming a reality TV series: The Simple Life 42: Sutter Up! in a bid to further Bettman's aspirations to break the NHL into the mainstream.

wow, I think I had rage epilepsy.


walkinvisible said...

nice to see you back in fine form.

Rob said...

You're too kind! Be honest was my assessment too bleak? ;-)

hellohockeyfans said...

Hmm...and I thought my post was angry.