Not for the faint of heart: Toilet Humor

My fellow hockey fans, I am here before you tonight to discuss the state of the NW division. I would like to tell you that is it constipated.

The annual logjam heading into the final stretch started in October and has really picked up steam in the last 4 months. The standings look like:

Minny - 86
Calgary - 84
Vancouver - 84
Colorado - 84
Edmonton - Stanley Cup contenders in 2010.

Everyone is so engrossed with TO's not making of the playoffs I don't think there has been much thought given to the veritable shitstorm of the NW division. Not even Jay Onriat has had anything to say, instead choosing to live blog the Leaf's desperate attempt to make the playoffs winning 13 games in their remaining 11. Jay is a wise cracking fool, his thoughts would be like a warm blanked on a cold day. As the fully digested campaign prepares to pass through the sphincter marking the end of the regular season there remain some burning questions before we plop into the proverbial post season toilet bowl.

1) Can the Flames make the post season? Yup, they just gotta win a few games against divisional opponents.

2) Can the Flames do better than 8th and avoid the Red Wing beat down in the first round? hm, not likely given the current level of playing. If facing the wings in round 1 isn't enough to inspire you to get your crap together, I don't know what will.

3) Is Rhett Warrener injured? Yup, he broke some bones again. Dude needs to drink some mofuggin' milk or somesuch. He's a huge loss because eriksson draws in practically ensuring 1-2 GA per game.

4) Tangs is a GTD, given a broken toe. Damnation, he's proven valuable, more valuable than anyone player on the MTL roster. Are we getting closer to screwed? Yes.

The Flames need to be the ex-lax of the NW division blockage for the remainder of the season. This would ensure we don't suffer the 6 game exit against the Wings that we are predisposed to suffering. Putting on a surge and considering all divisional opponents to be insurgents would go a very long way to getting into the post season with some fire. Thing is, the Flames need to be a coalition of the willing. And they need to be willing to win.