MacT is mental

so silverfox MacT came up with new line combos i guess when he was in the shower, and came up with this genius matchup for tonight's game:

VS

stortini on a checking line vs the two homos. i say stortini will be at -6 by the 10min mark of the first period.

Flames Quarterly Report

DRAMA! So, Keenan weighed in on the Flames. After he yelled and screamed and banged his stick against the boards repeatedly. Aucoin mentioned that Keenan was right to finally snap. Ya think? Anyhow, Keenan's not saying anything the rest of the Flames bloggers haven't said already. MG probably wrote the report for him. The statistics speak for themselves.

Canucks Bollocks Flames

The Canucks have improved to 8-0-1 when facing divisional opponents. I think I liked Luongo better when he was a Florida Panther. I am starting to feel, as a Flames fan, we're in for a long season. Every time I get excited they bollix it up. Despite registering 9 more SOGs than the Nucks, the Flames failed to get more than one goal on Lanky Lou.
Most of the NHL pundits thought the turning point of the game was Vancouver's kill of the Flames 5 on 3. Personally, I disagree. Our PP is erratic at best. If you wanted to isolate the real turning point look no further than 3 seconds before the first Vancouver goal. When our Defense collided leading to the turn over that Sedin buried. For the love of all that is proper, could we please stop piling into each other? I've watched novice kids not crash into each other at age 9.
In other news, Regs took a slapper to the head, and had to leave the game. This is not great news but hopefully the Regster can pull it together in time for the Avs because we desperately need to win some divisional games. We can leech all the points off the Oilers we want, but SO WILL EVERYONE ELSE! Point of order here, the Canucks only had 5 defensemen and they still took it to us.
On a go forward basis this game speaks volumes. Kipper is a solid goal tender but he requires a much stingier defense corp in front of him. Our Offense is delivering a decent number of SOGs but the quality of chances needs to be improved. A good goaltender stops every shot they can see. A great goalie can anticipate, so you have to be more aggressive in front of the net. The Flames can expect to see the Canucks in the playoffs, so they better get sorted out when facing them.

Ohlund out for 4 games!

I dunno, I think Koivu was diving . KIDDING! I like the injury report, Koivu is out with a broken bone in his leg. You don't have too many bones in your leg so it must be serious. This bodes well for the Flames. This doesn't bode well for the Wild.

Battle of Alberta

Well, that was a solid game on all levels. The Flames definitely deserved the win in my opinion and if you're an Oilers fan I would be getting very excited about the future of that club. This post is scant on details because the Flames are up again tonite against the 'Nucks.

Flames:
Welcome back guys you had me at DEFENSE. Granted the oil are fielding a young team but they have been playing extremely well of late and Garon is backstopping like nothing else. Still, at the end of period 2 the shots on goal were 8-20 in Calgary's favour. That's what I like to see. As for offense, the Nystrom, Nolan, Lombo line was incredible. Speed, scoring, grit! Oh yeah! And Connie, bout damn time. Kipper looked stellar as well. Tonite's tilt against the Canucks will be a true test.


Oil:
Man, the first period had so much energy and I would credit 60% of it to the Oilers. This team is going to be a serious contender towards the end of this season and definitely next season. Garon looks better than Rollie. More than anything the Oil need a goalie that can steal some games for them.

Guerilla of the Week

Begrudgingly, Jeremy Roenick has made the cut for this week's GotW. Congrats to Jeremy on his 500th goal. Roenick is no stranger to controversy but this year it seems the Leafs cast of rogues is outdoing him. Poor Jiri Tlusty, didn't he see Justin Timberlake's instuctional video? Clearly, Tlusty missed step 2.

Some of you may be wondering, why is that Richard Simmons' picture? Well, I have a strict no-Roenick policy. In fact, I may have been forced to write this post at gun point.

Guerilla Tactics: Hypothetically Speaking.

Due to the vulgarities of reality, things have been a wee bit slow at GSN headquarters. Never fear dear reader, we are not dead, we are merely resting.

At the start of this exercise, I never really appreciated the depth of the NHL blogosphere. Now, I cherish it with a wild and reckless abandon. Many of the NHL blogging community contribute to a tree of knowledge, so tasty and ripe, I laugh at the average color commentator. Sadly, I do not contribute as effectively as my counterparts so I aim to pick the fruits of their labour and ensure they get even more exposure. Today is a classic example.

Today I wanted to discuss a hypothetical situation regarding the tenure of Mike Keenan. I can say with authority, fiveholefanatics and penguinBuzz have kicked my ass soundly with their co-posting adventure of Flames-Pens trading. But Back to Keenan for a moment. A local news publication, known fondly as 'Metro', had a column done by Marty York claiming that Keenan's time at the helm of the Flames may be coming to a close. Marty has a knack for breaking stories (according to his metro profile) . . . in the CFL so I can't really back the guy up here (anyone can break a story if they wildly predict every outcome). However, were the Flames to ditch Iron Mike, who would take the reins? I could only hope Sutter would make a return to the bench but I highly doubt it. Playfair wouldn't step up which leaves one distinct possibility, Wayne Gretzky. HA, kidding of course.

The BoA had a phenomenal post on Wednesday regarding mainstream media and blogs. I would advise reading it. Clearly the 'staff' here at the GSN are not journalists nor do we adhere to strict journalistic principles but Andy has me thinking about the quality of our content. For that, I am in his debt.

That folks, ends this weeks installment of Guerilla Tactics. We now return to our regularly scheduled sarcasm, misspelling, and poor grammar related to things NHL.

Five Game Skid Snapped

Well well well, finally something fun to post about. A Flames Victory!
Yesterday's tilt was extremely well pre-gamed by the crew. Read about it here, here and here. As well, bid WI well on her trip across the pond.

So, to 'bidness. I was relegated to highlights mostly as I was rocking out at a concert. Travis is an extremely talented band and the show was equally awesome. However, I made sure to catch most of the first period. I saw some speed! I saw some life! Maybe the woes of late were related to the 'strep throat' going around the locker room? (not likely)

Anyhow, Dion scored the only real goal for the Flames. The rest were lucky and it's damn nice to see the luck going our way for a change. Iggy's goal was legendary and deserves a moments appreciation for the laws of physics. I am amazed Juice's goal was allowed as it seemed to rip apart the space time continuum while finding a way past Backstrom. Kipper stopped 26 shots enroute to the win but still seems plagued by nasty bounces and sketch D puck side pressure. Actually, I'm not sure that sentence makes sense, I think the Flames need to do the trash drill from disney's the Mighty Ducks.

I will not sit here and tell you the Flames woes are over. They are not. Minnie didn't dress a few key guys last night so while we can enjoy the victory, we shouldn't savor it. CGY has more potential than drawbacks, but the team must persevere through adversity. They need to bail out the Kipper, the hockey gods know they owe him huge, while he finds his feet. Hard work, discipline, and a strong sense of team need to the main thoughts of every member on that team for the rest of this season.

Silence

The Flames Blogosphere is oddly quiet after the Flames performance during hockey night in Canada. Oddly quiet. I feel a long post coming on . . . Perhaps it is time to reflect on a great many things. As fans we want our team to win. Not unlike the Roman mob in ancient times we are a fickle bunch. When our team does well we love them. When the Romans' blood lust was not satisfied heads started rolling in the sandy dirt of the Coliseum. Or in our case, the firing of coaches, the public criticism of players and the terrifying bag skate during practice. As fans, especially Calgary fans oft accused of being bandwagoneers, we need to learn patience. If you only support the winners you'd be a Senators fan this year but a Wings fan last year. Allegiance is a good character trait.

What is going on:

Kipper.
Kipper is not Kipper right now. I cannot provide a solid reason but his .867 save percentage and GAA of 3.73 are wildly uncharacteristic. Equally odd, a 5 game skid. This hasn't happened EVER in Kipper's tenure as a Flame. Expect a wild turnaround in short order.

the PK.
Once regarded as the stingiest, grittiest, and hardest working team in the NHL, the Flames are now an even money bet on the PK. Opponents salivate during 5 on 4s because they can taste the rubber and twine mixing after a blast from the point sneaking past a screened Kipper. Oh the humanity, when Edmonton scores on the PP you know things are in trouble. 69.6% effective on the PK, that's a painful stat.

Scoring
Coming off the heels of Rocktober, scoring a healthy 3.5 goals a night the Flames offensive output has, apparently, gone on strike. A measly 1.4 goals an outing thus far in November. Secondary scoring or not, this is not a good stat when your goals against is high. Get stingy or get scoring.

The Keenan Factor:
We have not progressed far enough into the season to know the impact of Keenan. Is he losing the room? Crushing confidence and ego with reckless abandon behind closed doors? Or is he ridding the Flames of the lackidasical whimsy that afflicted them last season?

Sutter and Contracts:
We have some big names on the cusp of free agency. Are these players worrying more about themselves as individuals than as members of a championship worthy team? I would not presume this to be a large factor but it would be on the minds of Juice, lanks and Dion. If the team continues to slide these boys may lose solidarity and confidence in the team as a whole. Have Sutter's more dubious personnel decisions come to haunt him? Kobasew and Ferrence look mighty appealing right now given the numbers Kobasew is posting down in Boston. Andy was always a strong leader in the dressing room. I look at the current faces, Aucoin, Nolan, Eriksson and I long for some of the 2004 vintage grit and determination.

Identity, Edge and Confidence
Right now the professional analysts like to truck out the concepts of edge, identity, and confidence as they relate to NHL teams/organizations. I have never been fond of the hazy abstract concepts of confidence and edge. In my daily work life, my employer rarely evaluates my confidence. I am a resource, a unit of work. Basically, I do shit. If that shit does not get done there is someone beating down my door until it is done. If I fail, I am replaced. Not much room to build confidence in there. Edge is another ill defined concept. NHL pundits act as though edge is a commodity, something you can package and sell. I tried putting it in the soft skills section of my resume and was laughed out of an interview. But identity I understand. This is the brand the Flames provide, what defines them as an opponent, what they can sell down at the marketplace commonly known as a rink. I would contend the Flames are embroiled in an identity crisis. Who are they, how do opponents view them and when you step on the ice against them what are you facing? In years past it was a gritty, highly defensive, low scoring jauggernaut with the conditioning and discipline to make opponents wary of crossing the blue line. The Flames made you earn your pucks in the corners, they made those little battles in the neutral zone pivotal and if you wanted that bit of bouncing rubber you best be prepared to eat plexiglass to get it. Discipline, determination, grit and winning battles for loose pucks formed the mantra of a winning Flames team. Were I a member of the Flames, I would remember this now and return to the style of game that made them great. Gentlemen, remind your rivals why they should fear you.

Canucks beat down the Flames

Wow. Any Flames fan who watched the game last night can't be a happy camper today. Come on Flames, at least win one for the Kipper! I am going to cover the bad, the ugly, and the worse.








The Bad:

• Losing Lanks to a crappy hit from behind. Way to go Cooke, any time you play the Flames they will be looking to kill you.
• Our Defense. AGAIN. The highlight was Eriksson standing in the crease when Burrows scored. He looked confused. Or was the highlight when Hale passed to Linden who set up Burrows. With so much ass-tastic play to choose from, it's difficult to narrow it down. At least they were trying to block shots.

The Ugly:

• Flames Offense. GET IT TOGETHER! Stop acting like you've never played with your linemates before. If I hear one more: 'Conroy overskates the puck, Tanguay takes a pass in his skates, Lombardi is in all alone' I just might flip out.
• Speed. I've noticed the Flames are slow. It appears they can't capitalize on rushes because they move like molasses in January. Get some legs!
• How about the call on Sedin for diving? Classic.
  

The Worse or What is wrong with the Flames:

• Could the delays in re-opening Cowboys Nightclub be affecting their performance?
• Does Keenan have to get all Keenan with them?
• Are expectations crushing the Fragile Flames?
  It is because they are not the underdog, the perennial cellar dweller, the team least likely to succeed? The only thing missing from the team compared to the year of the last cup run, is the underdog label. Weird how that works.
  

PreGame: Flames v Canucks

Well the Flames face of against an injury riddled Canuck squad tonite. The Flames blogosphere has been quiet so I will weigh in on my prediction for this evening. Canucks, 3-1. This isn't because I dislike the Flames, have been beaten senseless and suddenly think the Sedin twins are actually human and not aliens . . . I predict this because the Flames haven't hit rock bottom yet. They haven't pushed Keenan over the edge into a murderous rage. I think they want to. So, watch for the defensive gaffes to continue and despite Kipper heroics we will lose. Then Keenan will flip. Then the winning will begin.

oilers vs minnesota

so i guess the oilers lost 5-2 last night in minnesota
i didn't watch cause minnesota puts me in a coma
i elected to watch heroes instead


















kristin bell's power is she can never appear in the show

go oilers

Flames Buried by Avalance

Not even the heroics of Kipper could save the Flames in Colorado. I don't have much to say on this other than I remain hopeful that the Flames offense finds it's road legs sooner rather than later. More SOGs!

Pre-Game: Avs vs Flames

This evening the Calgary Flames look to stave off a 3 game losing skid while on the road. Of course, the could not have picked a better team to play; the Colorado Avalanche. Despite losing to the Avs in their last 6 meetings and who can forget blowing the 4 goal lead last time they were in the Pepsi Centre, Iggy and the boys remain confident they will prevail against the likes of Sakic and Svatos. Keep in mind, it was Sakic and Svatos that engineered Calgary's lame assed defeat October 16th.

So what can Calgary do to ensure victory? Well, leave eriksson at the hotel for starters. Perhaps light a small but very hot fire under the ass of Robyn Regehr. MetroGnome at FiveHoleFanatics has some stellar indepth analysis of the current Flames defensive situation. While I hope for a Flames win, I predict this will be a loss in OT or the shootout.

Flames Burn the Preds

Fresh off the news of Kipper's long term deal the Flames, deep in their long home stretch, faced the Nashville Predators. To be fair, Nashville is having a rough season, the bulk of their core vanished in the off season and the near constant talks of moving the team must be giving Coach Barry a case of the 'trotz'. Regardless, the Preds have a lineup filled with cool sounding names like Bonk, Radulov, Fiddler and the ever feisty Tootoo so they should get some credit for providing the color commentators an endless stream of material.

To the game:
The star of this game was Kipper. How many times have we said that? Hundreds. But it's the first time this season that I've seen Kipper be, well Kipper (killed a minute long 5 on 3 don't you know). Was it a better showing from the Calgary D-corps? Maybe but the Preds racked up 40 SOG so it was a busy night for the Flames netminder. On a few occasions the Flames looked mighty scrambly but they would snap out of it and get back to what they do best this season, scoring goals.

It helps when your opposing netminder, Mason, has been leaking like a sieve of late but to Mason's credit he made some highlight reel saves. Nonetheless, Iggy converted twice, the Juice fanned in a dirty filthy five hole goal, Lombardi shoveled in a high speed backhand, and Nystrom tallied his first NHL goal in a 2 on 1with Moss late in the 3rd. Radulov tallied for the Preds on a PP ending their drought for road PP goals. This fact was highlighted with Trotz twitching a sigh of relief on the Pred bench. Tootoo was oddly absent in this game as the only thuggery was presented by Zidlicky with a late elbow on Mark Smith. As usual, it was a non-call (you can guess who was reffing), but hey, what's new?

So, an excellent performance but one to be expected when you play a team lurking in the NHL's basement. No offense to the Preds, they are in a tough spot (unlike some other teams Leafs and Canucks) and need to rebuild the team. A solid win for the Flames but tougher opponents lay ahead. I would expect the boys are getting ready to deliver.

This Week in Guerrilla Tactics: Cap Management

Kipper is SIGNED

This isn't much of a scoop, you can read about it here, here, here, here, here, and here. Maybe there too.
Point being, Miikka Kiprusoff (damn that is hard to spell) is a Calgary Flame for the foreseeable future. I haven't parsed the details of the contract but it is front weighted and roughly in the area of 5.8 million per year which is excellent compared to Luongo's 6.75M/yr. There is a sense of excitement in Calgary as the core of the team has been solidified, Iggy, Regs and the Kipper. But the bad news is Phaneuf, the Juice and Lanks are heading into RFA/UFA territory at the end of this season. Phaneuf is especially concerning given the Edmonton Oiler's Offer sheet tactics of late. Not to mention the guy is playing well and deserves a huge raise. While signing the kipper at 5.8M is a wicked deal, I doubt Sutter got any sleep given what lies ahead. As a general note this would be a really good year for the Flames to try and win the cup while they have such a stellar roster. I'm just saying . . .

UPDATE:
Sharp Eyed Shaun points to this blasphemous article: Not Everyone Happy with the Kipper Deal.
Like any article produced in the center of the universe (toronto) it's a bit short on fact, references, sources or any content worth digesting. Anyhow, I will hit the high points:

1. Leland Irving is apparently not happy because he will have to 'beat out' Kipper for a spot on the team. Of course, no one in TO called Leyland, they just assume he's upset. By the way HE'S 19! He's the future! Do the bloody math, goalies are good from 28-35 . . . .
2. If we can trust this POS article (which sources NOTHING) we can assume that Kipper's deal is front loaded leaving plenty of cap room towards the end of his deal.
3. You know who else probably isn't happy about this deal? Brian Burke. Because he was most certainly screwed out of getting a goalie . . . oh wait, he doesn't give a shit.
4. Jeremy Roenick was upset by this deal because it further highlights his complete lack of value to any NHL team.

* Updated to reflect my idiocy regarding the Cap, the cap will be 5.8M per year despite what Kipper's payout actually is. Thank you loyal GSN readers for enlightening me.

Potential Live Blog of the Flames-Avs Game!

Avs 3 Flames 2
OT - I hate you Ryan Smyth!
3.4:00 ugh, PK crapped out and we're tied.
3.9:00 Good to see moss back causing trouble, back to the PP
3.11:00 5 on 3! Yup, we have a Flames game, the big M disallows a goal with a real quick whistle . .
3.12:00 Get in the sin bin Clark, stop molesting Kipper. PP for the Flames.
3.14:00 Magoo is still a wank but the boys are on the PK . . .
3.16:00 I still need more Yeile! Happy Birthday Mikka!
3.18:00 Ouch, Tangs crashes awkwardly into the boards

Period 2 Summary:
Nothing Exciting other than we're winning.

2.2:00 The Flames are circling the net with authority . . . good things may happen.
2.4:00 PP was a bit weak on the part of the Flames. Smyth and Dion still beaking at each other
2.6:00 YeeHaw, Flames PP for 43 seconds! oh wait! 5 on 3, go get em boys
2.8:00 Lame assed Avalanche dive, way to go magoo.
2.10:00 Who is this team? the Flames look moderately stylish here.
2.12:00 Tangs and Iggy are getting some excellent chances . . . 22 SOG for the Flames, 10 for the Avs
2.14:30 Decent Flames PK, tho there was a sketchy moment when the avs turned Kipper inside out.
2.16:00 Flames Pemalty, awesomeness. Dion vs Smyth? (I'll take Phaneuf any day. This is not so good, the Flames get wacky on the PK
2.17:00 I need more Stephane Yelle!
2.18:30 HA, Lombardi, Hot Wheels scores again!


Period 1 Summary:
Despite the early goal at the hands of the Mr. Sakic the Flames clearly stuck their game plan and applied a steady consistent offensive pressure. Sakic was not allowed to roll freely after his goal and Lombardi is made some solid D plays to support the Kipper who looks sharper. The result of the solid effort was Tangs rolling into a sweet lead pass and blasting a shot past Theodore.

-- General Comment: is Dion ever not on the ice?
1.3:28 Decent Flames Pressure.
1.4:48 TANGS! I LOVE IT WHEN YOU SHOOT! Flames Goal, scored by #40 Alex Tanguay!
1.6:00 Is George Bush commentating? 'Stay the Course Calgary, Stay the Course!'
1.7:00 Decent Flames offensive pressure. I bet Goddard gets the first goal.
1.9:10 Aucoin hits the post, if the color commentators don't STFU I think I will scream.
1.10:00 Ok, this is a strangely unemotional game, not seeing much in the way of anything here. Smyth drilled Aucoin but that's it. Clearly the flames are thinking about what bar they are going to tonite.
1.12:30 Stupid Joe Sakic scores. Man, Flames D, please wake up.
1.14:40 Flurry of activity in front of theodore, Aucoin and the Juice looking good. Kipper makes a nice save on some Av fool.
1.16:07 Alright, I'm in and settled. Not much happening at this point. Theo is in net for the Avs so that means we should be scoring plenty.

Don't it just break your heart?

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Flames Fizzle at Home Against the Sharks.

I am using this picture to distract you, loyal GSN readers, from the stench of last evenings Flames game. The ghosts of 06-07 returned.

Granted I didn't tune in until period two as I was at spin class (all GSN writers are required to pass a grueling conditioning test) but let's review the Sharks Flames stankfest.

The NHL, executing it's new policy of reviewing every Goddard goal, disallowed the first Flames tally of the evening. It ain't a Flames game unless one Flames goal is disallowed. To be honest, I've seen dirtier goals scored by the Leafs be allowed but whatever. Secondly, Tangs makes an absolutely BRILLIANT play that results in a short handed goal. At least he admitted it. Kipper got pulled and McElhinney convincingly proved he's not ready for primetime. . . yet. Lanks did snap Nabby's shutout. That was nice. Lanks is going to have a great year. A morale boost was JR getting creamed by Regs. As per usual, he upped his douche bag quotient with this memorable sound bite:

"When something like that where a player is injured and you come off the ice and people boo, that's bush league to me," Roenick said. "It's pretty disrespectful to boo them and I just wanted to acknowledge to them that I'm still here and I'm still playing."

Hey Roenick, I have this to say to you: fuck off and die. You lack any relevance in the NHL so do us a favour and retire. You call that playing? I bet you don't get your 500th goal before next season you wanker. I will boo for 3 people when they get up: Roenick, Ribeiro, and Tootoo.

Dave's thoughts take the cake with "Holy Mackinaw". I don't know what a mackinaw is but I think that's a memorable quote. WI has, as ever, chimed in with some solid analysis on Kipper, Dion, and Tangs. As well, bonus points are awarded for spelling guarantee correctly. Something we couldn't manage here.

askGSN: What do US Color Commentators Sound like?

Actually, I have to be honest, I am assuming this is an american feed. I assume this on the grounds of the NASCAR-esque accent of the commentators.

"Oh Ricky-Bobby! YEAH! Look what he done, that's swell!"

Still, this is a kabillion times more entertaining that Drew 'the monster' Remenda.