Dear Steve Mason,

I love you with my whole body, including my pee pee. Thanks for winning gold for Canada last year. You are the reason that I am in first place out of 12 in my pool, despite using my top pick on Martin Brodeur. Dropping Tomas Vokoun and picking you up was the best move I ever made. Your stats are out of this world. First in GAA, first in shutouts, and third in Save % (you were even first there a few days ago). And all this with only having played 29 games. As a 20 year old... goalie! That's pretty sick. When Marty comes back, I will be unstoppable come pool playoff time. For a month now, I've even been predicting that the BJs are going to make the playoffs, solely because of you.

I'm sorry for any times I've doubted you. When San Jose came to Ohio, I didn't play you, expecting the Sharks to light you up. But then you won, in OT! You'll be reassured to know that I'll play you against anyone now, with confidence.

I am a little frustrated with you lately though. 5 goals against vs Vancouver? Come on Steve, Canucks suck. I'm glad you guys pulled out the win in the SO, but seriously, you should have shut them out. It was last night against the Oilers that really hurt. A lead in the third period with under 5 minutes to go? And you guys lose in regulation? Man alive. It's the freaking Oilers. Ales Hemsky legally qualifies as a ballerina dancer. I understand that your defence sucks, and we here at the GSN are all too familiar with how Juice doesn't play defence whatsoever.

Maybe it's because you are "hurt". Seems a little odd to be playing in back-to-backs if you're hurt, no? Well, I like to think you are sticking your nose up at the NHL. It's total BS that you were only named to the Young Stars game. In my world, you should be starting for the West. JS Giguere? 12 wins, 0.905 SV%, 3.04 GAA, 2 shutout JS Giguere? That's a freaking joke and we both know it. So, good on you. Screw the all star game.

I have a small favour to ask. You see, tonight I'll be attending my 5th consecutive Flames home game. But I'm having a mixed week in my pool, thanks to your Canucks and Oilers debacles. I've also been pumping your stock for weeks now to my girlfriend. So I want you to have a decent game, and show her how awesome you are, BUT I want you to lose. Flames really can't lose 3 in a row to teams like PHX, COL and CBJ. That's would be rough. So if you guys could lose something like 2-1, with maybe a 45 save performance, that would be ideal. While I'm tied in wins in the pool this week, I'm counting on Mike Smith to come through for me tonight. (No, that's not a joke... the Lightning have been on a "roll", relatively speaking).

Does that work for you? I'll keep promoting you endlessly and cheering for you guys to make the playoffs. Just don't beat us tonight.

KTHXBYE Steve!

Gale Force